Gizmo

Many of you know that Kamarin and I have five cats. They are wonderful, amazing members of our family and we love them all very, very much.

Friday morning, I woke up to the sounds of Gizmo, our youngest cat, crying at the bottom of the stairs. I got up and went down and found him just lying there. He wasn't able to move his back legs or tail so Kamarin and I rushed him to our vet.

When we got there, they ran some tests on him and determined that he has a heart condition that caused blood clots to form. One formed, broke off and got stuck in the place where the arteries divide to go to his back legs, causing the paralysis.

They said that even if they did manage to fix that (with blood thinners, etc.) that he still had his heart condition and most cats who have that condition die within 3-9 months anyway. They said that themost humane thing to do would be to put him to sleep.

It was the hardest decision of my life but I felt that that was the best thing for him. He had always been such an amazing, friendly, rambunctious cat that I couldn't bear to think of him alone in a hospital for days or weeks, surrounded by machines and frightened out of his mind, only to die in pain anyway.

So as I sat there with him, him in my lap, wrapped in a blanket, we spent an hour with him, just holding him and petting him and telling him that we loved him. He was fading quickly and going in to shock as I sat there with him, Kamarin and Jeff, my brother, at my side.

Finally, we asked for the doctor and she administered an overdose of the sedative he was on. I put my hand over hers and moved the plunger down with her and slowly felt him slip away.

I can't tell you how sad and destroyed I feel right now. He was our baby Gizmo. He was the youngest of our cats, only 5 years old. His birthday is March 17 so he didn't even make it to that. I thought he'd outlive all of the others. I thought he'd watch our kids grow up and lose all of his teeth and get to die of old age while sitting in a sun beam as I pet him.

Kamarin and I went through a bunch of old pictures we have and found a bunch of him, playing and sleeping and just being Gizmo. His even had his big fluffy tail when he was just a kitten. It was good to see those pictures and remember how much joy he brought into our lives even as I sit here crying, trying to get this all out.

I like to think he had a good life with us. I did the best I could. I certainly could have paid more attention to him and played with him more but it's tough with a wife, a full-time job, the shop and the other cats. I hope he forgives me for that because I tried. I really, really tried, to be the best dad I could be to him.

We love you, Gizmo. We always did and we always will.

Michael Ring