Justice

Justice Wilson "smosh" Bodnar
Dearest sweetest Justice,
Today we are deeply, deeply saddened from a tragic loss in our lives.
Justice you were unfairly taken from us on November 12, 2007. You would have been 7 years old on January 2, 2007. You peacefully went to sleep in Grandma’s loving arms. Grandma loved you so much that she reluctantly went to be by your side. She fought her broken heart and shattered spirit and held you until you took your last breath. I, selfishly, was not there for you or for her. My heart was too weak I was not strong enough. A decision I will deeply regret and be guilty about for the rest of my life. For abandoning you and her. I can only hope that you both will someday forgive me. I am so so sorry. Now you are in God’s loving arms and in the company of family in heaven and I know that they will love you as much as we loved you here on earth. What happened to you wasn’t your fault. You were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. You were a good little doggy, cuddly, very affectionate, very loving, and smart…so smart. Whenever I said “Justice go in the car go home?” You would run to the cabinet open it up pull out your bag, pull out the leash and drop it at my feet. You would then bark and look up at me. You did a number of tricks that were just incredible. We all enjoyed watching you perform. You were definitely an entertainer. Especially “laps” we all loved it when you did that you always made us laugh. Also when you serenaded Aunt Franki you were so funny. We keep the memory of you alive everytime we talk about how awesome you were. You were brought to me in March of 2001 and I fell in love with you immediately. Toward the end of 2004, Grandma and Grandpa graciously took you into their home and loved you with all of their heart. They loved you so much. But still I saw you almost everyday and I cherish the memories of you coming for the night or for long weekends. You had 2 homes filled with people that loved you so much.
You loved your family with all of your heart and we know that you would have done anything to protect us stood up to anything and would have died trying.
You will be missed by so many who loved you dearly but mostly by the people you had the most special connection with like mommy and daddy, Grandma and Grandpa, Uncle Ray, Steven will miss his “goggie”, Lucy and Snoopy will miss their only best friend.
Through my tears I will smile when I remember all the fun times…going to the woods, our walks upstate, the beach, swimming in the river, our long drives all the nights you cuddled with me in times of distress and gave me comfort; you were there for me so many times when no one else was. You kept me sane. You were a good friend and companion. You were so much more than a dog; you were a member of our family.
Now I feel somewhat incomplete for your absence has left me with a broken heart. And a piece of my heart will always belong to you. I will never ever forget you and will think of you everyday. No other animal will ever take your place.
God take Justice’s beautiful soul up to heaven to the rainbow bridge where we will all reunite with you one day. Grandpa please be there to meet him. I know you will love him.Please keep him safe.
Things will never be the same at Grandma and Grandpa’s house there will always be something missing. A void. Sometimes when I go there, for a split second I look down and see you sitting by my feet. Then the realization hits like a ton of bricks that it’s only my imagination and I am left devastated. Steven and I won’t ever pull up to the house in the morning and see you waiting by the window. It’s something we looked forward to every morning. I still look for you at the window Just. Justice I loved you deeply and in death I love you still. You touched my life and gave me the special gift of unconditional love and I’m so sorry we let you down. I’m so broken and left wondering why, why… everything in my heart tells me that it was wrong. I don’t care what everyone says. I appear strong in front of everyone but what they don’t know is that alone I cry. I cry for you back everyday. The pain is just overwhelming. I wish I had been more insistent. I'm so sorry Just. I just never imagined you leaving so soon. We didn’t have enough time with you and I’m so sorry Justice we’re all so sorry. You had a good life though we had many good times and a long list of people who truly loved you. Thank you for all the wonderful times you’ve given us. The memories will always remain with us. You forever left your pawprints in our hearts.
God please send me a sign that what was done was the right thing. The guilt is just overwhelming.
Well, goodbye for now my boy until we see each other again. I love you I will always love you and I will NEVER EVER forget you. Not a day will pass in my lifetime that I won’t think of you Just. I miss you dearly. Look for me someday on the rainbow bridge. Love you my boy. Sleep well, goodnight.
Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil, for you are with me.
Just like our song says, “You’re My Angel”
Love you Just, until we meet again…
Love, Mommy

Dear Justice,
Hello my boy. Happy one year anniversary in heaven. I can't believe that it's been one year already. Not a day goes by that I don't think of you. We miss you terribly. I lit a candle for you this morning with your picture beside it. When I get home I will light it again. Tonight after Steven and Daddy are asleep I will go to the place that I haven't been able to appraoch for the last year. I will go to the place where you are peacfully resting. Grandma has been having a rough time with this still. Whenever I talk about you or show her a video of you she just breaks down. She feels guilty but I try to tell her that you understand and that we'll all see each other again. I will tell her tonight about my dream of you and her with the purple flower. I will give her that flower tonight and tell her it's from you. I won't let you down. It's been hard for me too. When I go to Grandma's house I can't even look in the backyard. Tonight I will muster the strength. I hope that your spirit will be there waiting for me.
I'm sorry again that you were treated this way Justice. I let you go and it still hurts me. I still til this day can't believe that your're gone. I know your're in a good place though where there is no athritis no allergies. No suffering.
Well I hope your're having a good time up there. Remember we're all only physically separated by earth and heaven. Too far to bridge the distance for now but I will see you again one day Just. Until that day I love you and I miss you. My heart will always miss you. Uncle Ray and I talk about you and we laugh about how silly you were and just how cool you were. He misses you terribly too.We all talk about you all the time and we keep your memory alive. Steven misses you too and just the other day asked me why you went to heaven so soon. So my Just, thank you again for enriching our lives and still continue too everytime we talk about you. Love from the family to you up there.

Love you Just,
Mommy

Suzanne Bodnar